Chapter 741: Chapter 30 The Dharma on This Land is Unspeakable (Part 3) Chapter 741: Chapter 30 The Dharma on This Land is Unspeakable (Part 3) “Just think, the priests made up this story for you: there’s a God up in heaven constantly watching you, and He’s got a little book with ten things you’re not supposed to do. And if you commit any one of those sins, God will send you to a place full of flames, smoke, molten lava where you burn, agonize, suffocate, scream, cry, and never transcend, but…” (This entire paragraph is from George Carlin’s religious stand-up comedy.)
With a huge bubble on his head, Saint Watson stood alone on a protruding boulder, prattling on, surrounded by a crowd of massive demons of all colors.

The old man spread his hands: “God loves you forever,” he declared.

A few humanoid spirits among the demons laughed uproariously, especially a young girl who was only wearing a pink sarong on her upper body, her laughter shaking so hard that the two snow-white mounds on her chest trembled incessantly.

“What’s he blabbering about?”

A dark blue giant crustaceous demon standing on the perimeter scratched its antenna with its pincer.

“Seems like he’s mocking their Lord Heavenly Mother,” replied a red octopus beside him, with a white bandana tied around his head.

“Eh? That’s interesting; I want to listen, too,” the giant crustaceous demon said as he squeezed forward.

Saint Watson’s performance was peaking: “Not only does God love you, He also loves your money. God always asks His followers for money. He’s omniscient, omnipotent, supreme. He created the whole world, but for some reason, He just can’t make money. Religious institutions amass billions without paying taxes, and they’re insatiably greedy. Oh–” he pressed his hand to his forehead–“what a lucrative pile of crap (story) this is. Does anyone catch the pun here?”

Another round of roaring laughter ensued.

The show by Saint Watson concluded, and he bowed gracefully. The demons of the ashram threw gifts at him, such as scales, a small segment of tentacle, or some unknown slime–this was the trade between Saint Watson and the ashram demons. A seductress threw her pink sarong onstage, but Saint Watson refused it and instead accepted a clamshell about the size of his palm. He also ignored the coquettish glances from the seductress, which probably had something to do with her being a clam spirit with only an upper body.

“My dear brothers, the topic for my next act will be ‘The Most Annoying Guy in the Heavenly Mother Ashram: The Story of an Old Hat Mother Squid.’ Anyone interested?” he called out.

The response from the crowd was thunderous, even more enthusiastic than before. Saint Watson gestured with his hands to quiet them down and, when it was a bit quieter, brought his finger to his mouth: “Just don’t let that big squid hear.”

The demons responded again, some even whistling. One could imagine how popular this old man was among the demons.

After a good while, the demon crowd dispersed, and Saint Watson clumsily hopped down from the stone, shouting to Li Yan, “Hey, go ask that witch demon if she can return my Caesar to me too. I miss it.”

“If Li Jiang finds out you’ve been telling jokes about her, do you think you could still stand here so composed? Still hoping to get your biological samples back?” Li Yan responded, a nameless bright purple medicinal leaf clamped in his mouth.

Indeed, the Heavenly Mother Palace did not disappoint as a treasure trove of marvels, not to mention its shelter to numerous millennial demons. There were coral trees and pearls as big as fists, and various exotic magical fruits could be seen. Though their efficacy went without saying, they were all sweet to the taste. Occasionally, they would even provide Li Yan with a few points of Awakening Degree, which was better than nothing.

After reaching an agreement with Mr. Holding-Sun, the two could now freely travel throughout the Heavenly Mother Ashram. Despite several days of fierce battling, Ma Ling and Li Jiang dueled, and the valiant Li Jiang emerged the more powerful contender. Wounded and scarred, Ma Ling plunged into the broken ruins of the Poison Dragon Pool, disappearing without a trace.

However, Mr. Holding-Sun readily agreed to help Li Yan retrieve the Abyssal Aliens that Yan Gong had seized, but there had been no news for the past several days.

“We need to get closer to these lovely big guys. Do you know how to quickly integrate into a group? Find a common enemy, badmouth them together, and you should give it a try. Aren’t you looking to choose a few powerful companions to leave this place?”

Li Yan sighed and shook his head, clearly his progress in winning over the water elementals was not going smoothly, in fact, not all the old demons at the Heavenly Mother Ashram were like Yan Gong and Ma Ling with well-developed limbs and simple minds. Many were sly and cruel, not so easily deceived.

Li Yan tried using the prospect of regaining freedom as a lure, but they said, “Talk of freedom, but aren’t we still at your beck and call? I see you’re full of danger, and not very strong. Following you would mean constant fighting for our lives. If you die, we are likely doomed by your misfortune, unable to find transcendence. Better to stay in the ashram munching on water grass, more peaceful that way.”

Some of the weaker ones were willing to follow, but most were not even comparable to Yang Zichu, and Li Yan was somewhat reluctant to agree, much like going on blind dates.

There were indeed a few who were strong enough and willing to become major Celestial Demons under Li Yan’s command in the water element, such as the Tunjin Demon Toad who had once faced Li Jiang head-on, but they made all kinds of demands, one common condition among them.

Li Yan must not bring Yan Gong or Li Jiang!

This Chaos-born giant squid was truly the bane of the Heavenly Mother Ashram, disliked by gods and ghosts alike, nobody wanted to work with her.

The Tunjin Demon Toad, who was once smacked into a spinning top by her tentacles, vehemently stated, “If she’s in, I’m out, if I’m in, she’s out!”

Li Yan did not reply to them too soon.

Returning to the present, Li Yan changed the subject, “There’s something I’ve never understood. You don’t seem like someone who values responsibility or honor, so why would you stubbornly try to stop me from destroying the Allied Fleet? In the end, it was a ruinous fight, resulting in the emergence of a monster like Li Jiang. Aren’t you afraid of never finding transcendence for all eternity?”

Saint Watson recalled that face, porcelain-doll-like and handsome, touching the stains on his shirt, “Let me turn the scene around for you. I had a friend, a historian, researching the war history of the Nubian Empire in Africa, caught by a local cannibal tribe. Their custom is to roast people alive. They stuffed my friend with spices, stripped him, and set him over the fire. When I arrived, one of his thighs and half of his face were already charred. Can you guess, what were his last words to me?”

Li Yan thought seriously and said, “These bastards don’t even flip when barbecuing?”

Saint Watson burst into laughter, wiping the tear tracks from the corner of his eyes, he gave Li Yan a thumbs up, “Pretty much, that’s how scholars are.”

After spending the past few days together as “prison mates,” the relationship between Li Yan and Saint Watson had clearly grown more familiar. Li Yan had to admit that as an explorer who had traveled through five continents, Saint Watson, this seemingly frivolous old drunkard, truly had some exceptional qualities. Even in ordinary conversation, his jesting often provoked deep thought, possessing a unique charismatic personality.

Li Yan thought for a moment, then suddenly asked, “And then what happened?”

Saint Watson clearly understood what Li Yan meant, his eyes sunk and shadowed with no light, “I killed them all, including children too small to reach the wheel. I put their chubby chief over the fire, cut off his genitals and forced him to eat them.”

Li Yan spat out the tender medicinal leaves from his mouth, somewhat gloomily spitting a few times.

Saint Watson shrugged, “Scholars are mostly like that. But I’m a bit extreme.”

“Wow~ such a sin.”

Mr. Holding-Sun, not knowing when he had appeared behind the two, obviously had also heard this joke. He didn’t comment further, just informed Li Yan, “Li Jiang would like to see you.”