Chapter 76: Change

“I’m doomed….”

I hit my head on the table. This was all because of Sigren. I thought about consulting with Abel, but I didn’t think it was a good idea to ask for serious help from a human who talked about ‘disguised as a natural death.’

No, actually, I shouldn’t and couldn’t tell anyone the details. 

‘Is this okay?’

It was very different from the original story that I knew. By now, Eunice and Sigren should have gradually become lovers, but now he confessed to me. I honestly really wanted to ask ‘why don’t you like Eunice?’. Those words were always on the tip of my tongue, especially when he confessed to me yesterday, but I couldn’t do it.

There was a belated sense of disappointment. I worked so hard writing their love story. 

Though, of course, I was aware my expectation was a very unfair idea.

‘Why the hell do you like me?’

Only then did I look back on my relationship with Sigren. I brought back the wounded Sigren from the battlefield. That was the beginning. After his wounds were healed, Sigren returned to the wall where he had been. And I often went to the wall where Sigren was staying. Young Sigren was rough, but he did everything I asked him to do. Because of that, I took him around the village under the pretext of ‘developing the male lead’s correct personality’. We were really good friends. No, more precisely, I wanted to be Sigren’s good friend. Because I thought it would help young Sigren emotionally.

Now as I look back, in the end, everything was meant to satisfy my selfish desires. I treated him well, and took care of him, all were just for relieving my guilt. 

To be honest, I really hoped for Sigren’s happiness, I really did, from the bottom of my heart. But I knew that I wasn’t giving him a sincere friendship. It was literally for my self-satisfaction. 

I felt really guilty and ashamed that Sigren liked me without him knowing my hypocrisy. Because there must be someone in this world who could give him nobler love.

‘Confession….’

As I kept thinking about that, I calmed down a little. Naturally, it was because my brain became more objective while analyzing it. 

Sigren’s feelings were important, but the situation itself had room for some thoughts. First of all, from my point of view, whether I went perfectly with the flow of the original novel or not, these two scenarios had problems. If it was the former, of course, my ending was a bad ending where even after I died my soul suffered. While the latter choice, the problem was not on my part. 

Soon, the Darkness would continue to appear, and the ferocity of monsters would continue to increase. In the end, it was clear that it would be impossible to stop it as time passed. So, people needed to get rid of the Darkness. And to do that, Eunice’s power was essential. And it was her love for Sigren that really awakened Eunice’s power. 

The Darkness was simply intended to strengthen these lover’s love through hardship and trouble, but this definitely has now hit me on the foot. 

If Eunice, who was not connected with Sigren, couldn’t awaken her power….this was an extreme example,—but if we did something wrong, the world would be destroyed. 

“Let’s be calm Fiona.”

There was a possibility that would happen, but that was still a long way off.

Now that I’ve thought about that, it seemed like what I needed was not a ‘perfect happy ending’ but an ‘appropriate happy ending’. An ending where the Darkness was driven away to some extent by the power of Eunice and Sigren, but I didn’t die. Or any ending that was possible in reality without the two bad ending scenarios occurring. 

Anyway, let’s focus on what is right in front of us right now.

“Well, it’s just a confession. He didn’t ask me to marry him.”

Should I just shed tears and, boom! Kick him?

“Fiona, are you there?”

At that time, the person who put me into chaos knocked on my door. 

“…”

His visit was faster than I expected. 

Alright, let’s strike while the iron is hot, Fiona! Let’s kick Sigren in an instant.

It was clear that Sigren’s feelings for me were similar to an engraving effect. It must be because of the thrilling feeling of the first kindness he received from a strange girl when he was a child. 

Now that I thought about it, how many times did I flirt with Sigren? 

Ah, the clear memories of what I often did to him were truly frightening. 

While calming myself down, I opened my mouth,

“Come in.”

With a click sound, Sigren entered.

When I saw his face, I naturally remembered his words yesterday. 

“What’s the matter?” I said in a cold voice to hide the agitation.

“….”

Sigren glanced at me while fiddling with the doorknob. At the same time, another click sound was heard.

I panicked for a second.

“Why did you lock the door?”

No matter what, I couldn’t help but panic from being in a locked room with a person who confessed to me just yesterday that he wanted to touch me. 

Sigren then replied calmly. “I want to.”

Why was he so shameless?

I subconsciously stepped back.

“Why did you lock it?”

“You will find out soon.”

It was a thought-provoking answer.

“I’m not doing anything. If you’re worried, I’ll stay here.” said Sigren while leaning against the door.

“…”

His calmness brought back my composure.

‘Right, the opponent is Sigren.’

We had known each other for several years. There was no need to regard him as a stranger just because I received his confession. Besides, I knew him well. 

Sigren looked at me and smiled.

“Fiona, it’s hard to talk when you’re standing so far away.”

“….”

I approached him. I’ve just made up my mind to throw away his confession. I couldn’t panic already.

“Sigren, the confession you made yesterday.”

“Yes.”

“It’s..—”

As I spoke, I unintentionally looked into Sigren’s eyes.

Ah, I didn’t want to hurt him.