LFTMPH Chapter 46—Old-Age Insurance Part 1

Translated by Snowfall77

There was nothing Xia Ge could do.  She hadn’t registered for the examination in time.  Descending into despair, the only thing left to do was to reluctantly accept reality.

“Ye Ze is going to kill me for sure……aaah, aaah.”

Covering her face with her hands, Xia Ge wailed: “Little puppet, my life is nothing but gloom and doom now……”

The system endeavored to be more optimistic: [Let’s Go Check To Make Sure…..Maybe You’ve Still Got A Chance?]

“Stop trying to give me hope!  I’m giving up——wait, oh crap, wait!  Guilongyu!  We have to find Guilongyu right now!”

Taking the entry examination might no longer be possible, but Ye Ze was leaving Danfeng!  She had to give him Guilongyu!

He might not blacken completely if she gave him Guilongyu…..fuck, she hadn’t done it on purpose!

System: [……]

Activating {ghost and shadow}, Xia Ge flashed to the place where she’d originally lost Guilongyu.

The ground and plant life still showed the damage from the demon puppet fight a couple of nights before.  Frantically searching through it all, Xia Ge couldn’t find anything, let alone Guilongyu.

“Ahhh, why won’t it turn up?!”  Xia Ge run around in frantic circles, “I’m dead, I’m dead—it’s all over now, I’m dead meat!”

“Oo, oo, oo……”

The now-familiar sound of the lost deer could suddenly be heard.

Although frantic with anxiety, Xia Ge stopped for a second, then scanned the trees.  From the darkness of the deep forest, a deer peeked out its head from behind a thick tree trunk.  Ethereally beautiful, its antlers were like branches and its deep violet eyes watched Xia Ge attentively.

…..the lost deer was here?

What was it doing now?

Thinking back on Su Chan’s words, Xia Ge supposed the lost deer’s intentions were good.  Probably?

Xia Ge: “……”

Lost deer: “Oo, oo, oo.”

System: [……]

Xia Ge’s eyes lit up: “You saw where Guilongyu went?”

“What?  A girl dressed in red and white found it and picked it up?”

Still halfway behind a tree, the lost deer gave a restrained nod: “Oo, oo, oo.”

System: [……]  What?  How the hell do you understand what it’s saying?!!

Xia Ge: “The girl was very good-looking……but her temperament seemed very cold.  In her right hand was a red Yimei……wait, doesn’t that sounds like Senior Sister?”

Hit by this bolt from the blue, Xia Ge could only blurt: “Senior Sister has Guilongyu?!!!”

The lost deer gave a final nod, and having achieved its aim, turned and disappeared into the forest, adorned with drifting plum blossoms, its form lovely and proud.  Never mind the many questions Xia Ge wanted to ask it, like ‘why did you take me into the ancestor’s tomb?’  Or ‘why do you want to help me?’  Is it cause I’m so charming or gorgeous……sigh……

But, now that she knew Senior Sister had Guilongyu in her possession, Xia Ge pushed those other matters to the back of her mind, and was completely focused on——

Fuck……Senior Sister knew Xia Ge had been fucking sneaking around the back mountain again!

Furthermore, Xia Ge had promised Senior Sister that she’d take the Danfeng entry examination.  But she hadn’t registered, thus her chances of passing through the inner gate were dead in the water!!

And Senior Sister had even taken the time to tutor Xia Ge for the examination!

Then, to top it all off, Xia Ge had shamelessly and recklessly made a promise about being in the top 3 of said examination……at least she hadn’t said 1st place.   After successfully refined the twin golden dan, she’d felt justified in puffing out her chest and making grand assurances to Senior Sister——

“Don’t worry, it absolutely won’t be a problem!”

Those had been Xia Ge’s words at the time.  Now all she wanted was a time machine so she could go back and slap her own face.

Don’t vainly promise what you can’t deliver!

Absolutely not a problem?!  Bullshit!  Wasn’t it a huge problem now?!

Oh, no problem, except for fucking failing to register for it!  She should have just stayed in bed!  Instead of roaming around the back mountain looking for Liuli trees!!  What did she need Liuli trees for?!  Make a box?  Give Guilongyu back all nice and pretty?   Oh, what bullshit, she’d sent the helve after the hatchet!

Missed an appointment, hadn’t she?!

Too late now, wasn’t it?!

Didn’t big talk always came back to haunt the braggart?

Xia Ge found a tree to lean her limp body on, weary down to the bone.

The system couldn’t find a thing to say and there was no Greek chorus to take up the slack.

A long while passed.

Xia Ge: “Oh……little puppet.”

System: [……Hmm?]

A loveless and alone Xia Ge: “I think I’ll be copying the Danxun in Siguo Pavilion for the rest of my life……”

“”

The system ruminated on that and tried consoling: [You Can Always Try……]  Again next year.

But Xia Ge was already looking much further ahead, to fantasies of her old age: “I wonder if outer disciples who copy the Danxun get a retirement package……perhaps a pension?  There’s got to be some kind of old-age insurance or something, I need to look into that……”

Withdrawing its sympathy, the system ruthlessly delivered an ice-cold blow: [Outer Disciple Pension?  Old-Age Insurance?  Does Not Exist.]

Xia Ge suddenly jolted upright, apparently stimulated by some thought: “Aaah!  It’s no good!!  I can’t just sit around and wait for death!  I have to get through the inner gate!”

If she really admitted defeat this easily, being punished to copy the Danxun for eternity would still be just a secondary misery.

Cause she’d be too busy repenting her arrogance.

…… had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that there was no pension for outer disciples!!

赔了夫人又折兵 [péi le fū ren yòu zhé bīng]

throw the helve after the hatchet; give one’s enemy a wife and lose one’s soldiers as well; lose one’s wife as well as one’s soldiers — to pay a double penalty; lose the bait along with the fish