***

“Alright, everyone’s in, right?”

“Yes!”

Lee Cheolwoo was sitting right next to me, so I had to crouch down even more. The older guys brought their cars, and we shared them. Everyone was male, and I had to sit in the middle of the back seat because I was the thinnest. I hated that their arms kept brushing against mine, but I put up with it.

The person sitting in the passenger seat played music and connected it to the speaker. A series of songs from a recently popular idol came on, and the others sang along.

“Jiho, you’re twenty, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Woah, young, aren’t you?”

Lee Cheolwoo stuck his head out and pointed at Kang Hyunnam, telling him that he was also young. Kang Hyunnam slapped my thigh and laughed. It didn’t hurt, but I brushed the spot he had touched.

Luckily, the music was playing, and we were on our way to buy some groceries, so we didn’t get into personal conversations as we talked about what to buy. Nothing happened in particular, but within 10 minutes of getting in the car, I regretted my decision to come to the MT. Still, I might change my mind later.

Our group stopped at a grocery store to pick up some groceries. The menu had been decided, meat, and we were basically porters. We entered the grocery store and followed the people pushing the carts.

“This is fun, isn’t it?”

Lee Cheolwoo put his arm around my shoulders and muttered. I nodded while thinking of what Yeon Woojeong could be doing now. It was obvious he was doing his work.

Yeon Woojeong questioned why I would need his opinion, but I had asked because he would sleep alone in the home if I stayed overnight. I wondered if he was okay for a night. I left home with the lights on just in case, but if Yeon Woojeong knew I had such a worry, I thought he would find it absurd, so I decided to not tell him.

We returned to the car after buying the groceries. The accommodation wasn’t far from the grocery store. It was a two-story pension with a garden in Gapyeong. Upon arrival, we gathered with the people who were waiting for us and organized our luggage. Since we departed right after the lecture was over, it was already time for dinner, and we had to prepare the meal right away. Everyone was busy looking for something to do, so I also wandered into the kitchen.

“Jiho, can you slice some onions for the wrap?”

“Yes.”

I grabbed a cutting board, knife, and onions, then stood at a side. I peeled the onions, washed them thoroughly, then sliced them.

“You’re good with knives, Jiho. Are you living alone?”

“No.”

“Is that so? Then, do you usually cook?”

“Yes, a bit.”

“You look like you’re good at it.”

Mr. Kim Hyunsoo was in his 40s and said that he quit his job and came to the institute to start working in this field. When I was having a hard time learning, I would think, ‘the older men are doing their best, so what can’t I do?’ In the past, I hated all older men, but most of the older people in this institute were polite, so it was nice to listen to them.

“But it’s better to bend your fingertips like this when you’re cutting. You’re doing good now, though,”

“Ah, yes.”

I sliced the onions, following how Mr. Kim Hyunsoo sliced the garlic. The plate was filled with enough garlic and onions.

“I have a son who’s almost as old as you.”

“Yes.”

“He always complains that he hates to study… And then when I look at how hard you work. Phew, I wish you were my son.”

I don’t think you’ll like it if it comes true. I held back my thoughts and pretended to smile. After slicing the onions quickly, I brought the plate outside to the people who were grilling the meat.

“Jiho!”

Lee Cheolwoo, who was grilling the meat, raised his hand. I went over to him and held the plate up for him. He laughed and moved the tongs around as if he was having fun grilling meat.

The meat was delicious. It reminded me of the barbecue I had with Yeon Woojeong in Jeju. If I had to make a comparison, I would say the meat was better back then.

The sun was setting, and bugs were flying around the lit lamps. It was September, but the days were still humid and the evenings cool.

After cleaning up, I sneaked out and called Yeon Woojeong while the others were making drinks inside. It was past his office hours, but as if he was still working, there was a long delay before he answered.

―Yeah.

“Are you home?”

―Not yet.

“How about dinner?”

―That, too, not yet. How about you?

“I did. I ate meat.”

―Is it fun there?

“… Yeah.”

My reluctant answer was met with laughter. I kicked the floor with the tip of my shoe. Perhaps I should have answered with more vigor.

“It’s fun.”

―I see. How about the room? Would it be comfortable to sleep?

“Yeah, it’s wide inside. Are you going home early today?”

―I don’t think so.

“I left the lights on at home.”

―Why?

“Just because.”

I liked his faint laughter. Listening to his voice made me miss him.

“Don’t overwork and eat your dinner.”

―Yeah, see you tomorrow.

“Mhm.”

I didn’t end the call, listening to his breathing, but then I had no choice but to end it and go inside because Lee Cheolwoo called me. Everyone was sitting in a circle. They opened bags of snacks and placed paper cups in front of them.

I sat in between Lee Cheolwoo and Kang Hyunnam. I didn’t like to sit beside Kang Hyunnam, but there was no other seat.

“Okay, everyone, fill your cups.”

I grabbed my paper cup, but then I put it away because Kang Hyunnam was about to pour beer into it.

“I will drink soda.”

“You can’t drink alcohol?”

“Yes.”

“Are you can’t, or are you not drinking?”

“Both.”

“Ay, at least take a sip. You should drink in this kind of place.”

Kang Hyunnam took away my cup and filled it with beer. I held back a sigh, took a new paper cup, and filled it with soda, then I handed over the one with beer to Lee Cheolwoo.

“Oh, thank you.”

Lee Cheolwoo accepted the cup and drank the foam. Kang Hyunnam looked offended, but I ignored him.

“Let’s cheer.”

“CR, your speech!”

The representative spewed out his speech. I held up my cup as he talked and then bumped my cup into Lee Cheolwoo’s and the cups of other people around me. The sweet soda doused my mouth.

“This is good, try it.”

I ate the snack Lee Cheolwoo pointed to. It tasted like the buttered squid they sell at the movie theater. I nodded and Lee Cheolwoo laughed.

“The earnest expression came out.”

“Earnest expression? What is that?”

“There’s a certain look he gets when he’s eating something good. Austere, stern, serious.”

“What is that, show me too.”

Bang Jeongmin, who sat next to Lee Cheolwoo, stuck his head out and looked at me. I felt burdened with his gaze, so I pretended to drink my soda to cover my face. Bang Jeongmin smiled, took a bite of the snack, and then raised a thumb up.

“This is good. By the way, I think this is my first time talking to Jiho.”

“Last time… We’ve talked once.”

“Last time? Oh? Aha, that’s right. I borrowed your pen, didn’t I?”

It was a very short conversation, but it was a conversation nonetheless. Bang Jeongmin joined in, and we, including Lee Cheolwoo, talked together. We mostly talked about what we did before coming here and what we plan to do once we graduated. In the middle of the conversation, Bang Jeongmin said he had to go to the restroom and left.

“Hyung, your cup’s empty.”

Lee Cheolwoo poured alcohol into Kang Hyunnam’s cup. Kang Hyunnam smiled and filled Lee Cheolwoo’s cup as well.

“The drink’s sweet today.”

“I also can’t stop drinking.”

Kang Hyunnam took a glance at me. I could tell easily if someone didn’t like me. I didn’t know why. I didn’t feel like knowing why, nor did I think it was important. I tried to get along with everyone here, but that didn’t mean I was trying to win everyone’s favor. I didn’t want to force myself to smile at assholes, either.

“You really don’t talk much. You must be very shy.”

“A bit.”

“You’ll have a hard time in society. And you can’t drink.”

Why do people put so much importance on drinking alcohol? Someone else had said this to me before because I never went out to any of the drinking events at the beginning of my time here. But Yeon Woojeong said it was all nonsense. He told me not to worry because I could live well even if I don’t drink alcohol. But I guess I would keep hearing these things. What would Yeon Woojeong say at a time like this?