Cleaning time.

The homeroom teacher handed me a garbage bag and a broom. As a punishment for being late, I was supposed to clean the school. I dragged the garbage bag and picked up the garbage that was thrown all over the flowerbeds and ground.

He asked me to fill up half of the bag with garbage. But that didn’t seem possible, as all I could collect was pieces of paper and snack wrappers. The garbage bag handed by the homeroom teacher could hold about 50 liters.

“How do I fill this up?” I leaned my head back and looked at the blue sky. “I wish I could meet him at school one more time.” The clouds had turned into Seon-jae’s face that I saw in the morning; a grim face.

Everything I did… didn’t work out.

I understand that a person, whom he didn’t know who approached him, cried, hugged him, said I love you, turned up as his secondhand gym clothes’ buyer, Seon-jae should feel uncomfortable and offended.

I cried thinking about him all night yesterday. I think of him as my very precious person. Even though I knew it was natural for Seon-jae to not know it, I still hated it and felt it was unfair.

The clothes purchase incident was a coincidence. I really didn’t know. With my lips trembling, I shoved the dry leaves into the garbage bag.

The homeroom teacher came out with an inquisitive face and turned to look at the garbage bag. The garbage bag was filled with snack wrappers and dried leaves.

“…there’s a bag of chips and a piece of paper at the bottom.”

“Ah, well…” I bit my lips and lowered my head.

“Next time you’re late, water the flower bed instead.” He sighed.

“Okay.”

“Go in.”

Bowing, I greeted him and turned around to leave. I entered the classroom and went to sit on my seat. Strangely enough, I sighed while reading the textbook. I felt down, depressed for no reason.

Now that I’d come to the past, I could have tried to change something other than saving Seon-jae: my grades, college entrance exams, and other things. But I wasn’t interested in anything.

It’s not like I thought I would fail the college entrance exams or I didn’t like college. If there was something I wanted to do, I would go to school without being depressed. At that time, I always felt alone, feeling Hyun-joo’s absence. I was 18 again, but I still thought the same.

I looked at the clock on the wall, resting my chin on my hand. In my mind came the image, when, instead of a clock hanging on the wall, my bag had been strung up.

I remember Seon-jae grabbing my bag and coming out. Did he happen to hear my conversation with Baek In-hyuk while passing the hallway? Or did he just take the bag out and wanted me to get out of there?

“Im-sol.” Mr. Sun called my name, leaning on the table and tilting his head slightly.

“Class has just begun. Don’t look at the clock, look at the textbook.”

“Oh, yes.” I smiled awkwardly and lowered my head.

Perhaps today, I should eat something delicious and go home.

***

Ryu’s restaurant.

I stood in front of the restaurant and looked up at the signboard.
It was run by Seon-jae’s parents. It was one of the places of pilgrimage to Ryu Seon-jae. Since I fell in love with Seon-jae, I’d only been there once and had soju with Haejangguk.

(T/N: Haejangguk is hangover soup.)

At first, I ate like a stranger, but later, when I got drunk, I stared at Seon-jae’s autograph and picture on the wall, and even took a picture.
When I paid for it and received the receipt, I held Seon-jae’s mother’s hand and even bowed, saying, “Thank you for giving birth to Ryu Seon-jae.”

No matter how hard I thought about it, I was too drunk. I shook my head and pulled the door of the restaurant. I went to sit on the corner.

Perhaps because it was a weekday, his mother was alone in the restaurant.

“I’d like Haejangguk and a bottle of soju, please.”

Seon-jae’s mother put down a water bottle on the table and observed me from top to bottom.

I wondered why she was looking at me like that, so I pulled up my lips into a smile.

“Is anyone else coming?”

“No, I’m alone.”

“And you want soju?”

Ah…

I lowered my head to look at what I was wearing… a school uniform. I just came here after school.

“Please give me a soda.” I looked down, embarrassed.

Seon-jae’s mother, who gave me a strange look, put a bottle of Sprite and brought out a bottle opener on the table.

Placing my hands on my thighs, I scanned the interior of the restaurant. Only Seon-jae’s autograph and picture weren’t there on the wall, but the structure, the tables and the chairs were the same. While I was drinking soda, Haejangguk was served.

“Let me know if you need anything else.” Seon-jae’s mother said, and I answered, “Yes!” holding the spoon.