Chapter 50 – Part 2

Looking at me now were his cold eyes, and they were enough to explain everything.

“……”

That glare, that expression, that coldness. I knew every last one of them very well.

…Right, it was a bubble, and it had now burst. His mirage of kindness.

As expected, all those days were but a daydream.

Like a sweet dream one would show to a person who’s about to die…

Theodore, who had now reached this point, stood obliquely in front of me.

He stared at me, then glanced around.

“Where is my aunt?”

“……”

Certainly, this was the version of him before he lost his memories.

Theodore, who had never been on my side.

I felt confused. Perhaps even angry.

My heart ached so much even though I was already expecting this to happen.

Like a wound torn open, salt applied onto it.

Cold, then sweet.

And cold yet again.

I resent you so terribly much, yet my reaction now… What a joke.

It wasn’t until this moment that I realized.

All this time, I was secretly hoping that his kindness would last forever.

‘You fool, Lily Everett.’

Being ‘incapable of learning’ was something that truly defined me, it seemed.

I had already been hurt countless upon countless of times, again and again.

Yet look at me, still harboring hope.

‘I promised myself that I wouldn’t hope. I told myself I wouldn’t.’

But in the end, all I did was lie to myself. Or perhaps it was a case of self-brainwashing.

Don’t expect. Don’t hope. Don’t get hurt again—

I was so afraid.

My mind might have accepted these words, but not my heart.

‘…Right, I ignored it.’

The human heart was weak, and this weakness was sometimes beyond reason.

Many philosophers had said that the difference between man and animal was rationality. Animals acted on pure instinct, whereas humans could control that instinct with reason.

But those words were wrong.

The heart was stronger than the mind.

“…Where is Missus Seymour, you ask…”

I muttered his own words back to him. Then, suddenly, a false laugh rang out.

My head was still ringing with shock. However, I knew that after the incident in the greenhouse, I had unraveled.

Him being a well-tamed pet or whatever. That was no longer the case.

Hearing my laughter, Theodore scowled at me. But when I looked into his blue eyes, I felt like I was on the verge of tears.

Even so, I answered without hesitation.

“She had a psychotic break. The servants have locked her away in her room.”

“…What?”

“Missus Seymour has gone mad. If you’re curious, why don’t you go see for yourself?”

Theodore’s gaze was stained with confusion, and soon, his expression was filled with questions. He opened his lips as though he wanted to ask something, but I never heard what it was.

Simply, I turned my back on him and walked away.

I wove my way through the crowd at a rapid pace.

It’s over. It’s over.

Now that the sweet dream was broken, it’s time for the cold reality to set in once more.

* * *

“Madam…”

Charlotte called me in a tone that was full of sympathy.

As I was sitting on the sofa while hugging my knees, I slowly raised my head. Worried, Charlotte was at a loss as she looked at me.

‘…What a mess.’

Since I had returned to this room, I’d just been staying in this position for the entire time. It’s no wonder that Charlotte was worried.

I sighed softly and soon sat down in the right position. Then, I took a sip of my tea and asked her.

“…So, how is Missus Seymour doing?”

Charlotte answered with a bit of hesitation, examining my complexion closely.

“She’s still not quite completely there in the head.”

“…Even though Theodore has regained his memories?”

“Yes, that’s truly the case… She must have really gone mad.”

“……”

Well that’s a surprise. I thought she’d stop pretending to be crazy once she found out that Theodore’s memories were back.

Had she truly gone insane? She’s not just acting?

‘…For that Missus Seymour to have gone mad…’

It felt terribly unrealistic. She might have been a dreadful hypocrite, but more than anyone else, she was very thorough about maintaining her own condition.

‘Just what the hell did she and Theodore talk about before…? But now…’

Even if I were to ask, I would never know.

The current Theodore had clearly forgotten everything that happened during the period that he lost his memories.

“……”

Smiling quietly to myself, I dropped my head.

Unconscious it might be, for Lily Everett to still be harboring hope at this point…

It was just so hilarious.

Why? How come?

I already knew this was going to happen anyway.

‘It’s always been like this, huh. My life.’

My wishes were never, never fulfilled.

Not even my dying wish.

“Madam…”

As I had curled into myself once again, Charlotte anxiously called me.

But at that moment.

Knock, knock!

A rough and insincere knock was heard through the door.

——